Thursday, June 26, 2008

Tom Kalinowski Is Running for Office!

Here are some of his words:

Who am I? Thomas Kalinowski, 45 years old, married with no children. I've lived in Newport for eleven years, and I currently work at the front desk at a local hotel. If you see me walking down the street, I'll probably be accompanied by my two basenji dogs, Kleopatra and Louis. They're friendly dogs who like meeting new people, so don't be afraid to say hello and pet them. They'll also be happy to share any food you may be carrying (whether you want them to or not).

Why am I running? Well, in any political race, somebody has to run to the left of everyone else, and in this race that somebody will be me. If elected, I promise to raise your taxes, grant amnesty to the thousands of illegal immigrants living in Rhode Island, and legalize gay marriage. Or at least, I'll be advocating for those things, since it's unlikely that the other 74 Representatives, 38 Senators, and Governor will go along with any of them. But I'll be doing my best to push my radical agenda, and of course I'll also be representing the interests of my constituents (ie bringing home as much pork as possible).

He has launched a blog.

Thank you, Tom!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nomi, is that what they call the “gay agenda”? I’ve always wondered what that was, since I usually have no agenda to speak of.

Best of luck to Mr. Kalinowski.